


I'll make this feel like home

by fxcknouiam



Series: we're only gettin' older baby [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cute Kids, F/M, Gen, Girl niall, Other, Pregnant Niall, girl harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxcknouiam/pseuds/fxcknouiam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trouble in paradise. (4)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is so ass lmao this will probably only have two chapters I needed to get out my pregnant Niall feels since she won't be knocked up in my next story ):

"I'm going to call your dad if you don't knock it off!" Niall threatens for the... tenth? twentieth? fifteen hundredth? time today.

It's not even noon.

Niall hates Saturday's, she decides.

"You call me daddy so I can tell him Kali stole me bear!" Winnie pouts, hands on her hips all bossy like.

She's been treated like a princess for the entire four years of her life. No surprise there.

"You gave him your bear Dummy." Ivan yells, eyes on the television.

"Don't call your sister names." The pregnant mum reprimands over Winnie's cry of ' _muuuuuum_!'

Just as Niall's waddling to the kitchen soft little cries flow through the speakers of the baby monitor in her hand.

"Great." Niall huffs. "JuJu mummy will get your lunch in a few minutes, okay? Ivan you stay away from that stove and I mean it."

The day she walked in on Ivan "cooking" breakfast still haunts her. He had all the burners on and no pan, insisting he could make toasties without one.

Kalianne stands in her crib, gripping the bars for support and smiling when she sees Niall. Her smile, all of her really, is so unique to Niall. She doesn't look anything like the rest of the kids, yet somehow she fits in perfectly. It took less than thirty seconds (almost seven months ago) for Niall to accept her as her own.

"Good morning, love bug!" The blonde coos, making the babies face scrunch with a big smile.

Zayn picked her name, Kalianne. It's Cambodian (like her) for "sweet darling" (also like her). She was just a few weeks old they went to get her, and of course after two months of her being home Niall found out she's pregnant again.

"Did you have a good nap, buggy?" She kisses the babies face before laying her down the change her nappy.

Of course when she goes downstairs Winnie is playing in with her dolls in the toilet again ("it's their swimmin' pool mum! They're _hot_!") and Ivan is climbing on chairs to reach the snack cabinet while Julius watches nervously from a safe distance.

And to think in a few months she's going to have five of these things.

"You'll never betray me like your brothers and sister, right?" Niall asks Kalianne.

Kali just scrunches her face and rubs her eyes. That's probably a yes.

***

Zayn comes in the master bedroom well after the kids are in bed for the night. It's the first time Niall's seen him since yesterday morning, even though they slept in the same bed last night.

"Hey." He says quietly. "You're up late."

Niall pauses the television, Mob Wives can a minute or two.

"So are you. Where did you go today?" There's no bite to the question, despite her suspicious tone.

Zayn keeps his back to her, changing into his night clothes. "Here and there." He answers vaguely, like that's going to help his situation at all.

"Yup." Niall says more to herself than him, pressing play on the television.

"Were the kids good today?"

He'd know if he answered his phone.

"They're your kids what do you think." Those kids are fucking monsters, but they're cute so they get away with most of it.

"How are they? I miss them."

"Then spend time with them, if you can manage a few hours away from your girlfriend."

Zayn eyes the bed like he wants to sit on it. Niall's purposely laying across the top of it but that doesn't matter, the bed is huge. Her point is still made though, because Zayn thinks better of it and sits on the bed side table instead.

"There is no girlfriend, Niall."

Maybe there isn't, but Niall still seen him with a girl on his lap at a hotel pool when he claimed he was at a meeting. Things really haven't been the same since then because Niall can't stand the sight of him anymore.

"It's just you, been just you and you know that."

 _Except in Brazil_. "I don't really feel like having this conversation again."

Zayn nods, licking his teeth. In all of their fifteen years together Niall expected for her to not miss him when he's gone. Definitely never thought she'd want him to leave, to fall asleep somewhere that isn't next to her.

"I think you should sleep in your room tonight." The room down the hall, originally a guest room until a few months ago.

"How long is this going to last Niall? How long are you going to-"

"Until I get the truth." Niall snaps, cutting him off.

He huffs. "I've told you the truth,"

"Then until I believe it."

"Baby!" Zayn pleads. Niall looks at him like he's disgusting. "Have I ever lied to you?"

"Yes!" She's so close to throwing this gigantic remote at his stupid beautiful head.

"I _was_  working, Niall! We were discussing her album-"

She's heard this too many times. If the roles were reversed and Niall was in a thong bikini on some gorgeous man's lap Zayn would flip his shit. Niall was too hurt to react properly. Things were so good, they'd just adopted a baby and found out they were having another. They finished building their new home and successfully moved in, their shared fashion line was (and still is) doing great. This girl came out of no where and Niall can't help but question everything.

"I told you I don't want to talk about this shit right now!"

"Then when?" Zayn asks. "When it's too late?"

Niall turns her head where it's resting on her hand to look at him.

It's like the older he gets, the better looking he gets and it's not fair. He looks older these days, all tired and what not. Looking at him makes her sad. She always knew him to be a good man, her home and protection. He lied though, he's a liar to her now.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Too late for what?

"What if we fall out of love?" Zayn shakes his head, knee bouncing rapidly.

Niall snorts. "I already did." She lies.

Correction: she _maybe_ lies. She doesn't know how she feels right now. He definitely disgusts her but they have so much history that will never be forgotten.

"You don't love me?" Zayn asks, eyes wide and body still.

Niall's sadisticly cheerful at his mortified expression.

"You're my children's father and that's it."

She looks away when tears roll down Zayn's cheeks. She told him they weren't having this talk right now, it's his fault and she doesn't feel bad. Did he feel bad when a practically naked silicone queen had her ass on his crotch and her arm around his neck? No. He was smiling. Niall watched him smile as that bitch ran her fingers through his hair.

"You don't mean that." He shakes his head in denial.

Niall sighs and turns the volume on the television higher. Zayn does something with the drawers of the table he's sitting on, slamming them shut before the tv turns off. Fucking bastard, using the extra remote.

"Zayn sto-"

"If you mean what you just said tell me right now."

Niall sighs again, palming her belly as she sits herself up. She's pretty sure the baby is still sleeping, he's only moved a little since she laid down about an hour ago.

"Unlike you I'm not a liar." Niall mutters under her breath as she pulls the covers down to tuck herself in. "You should make the kids breakfast in the morning, they'd like that." She tells him, settling in with her back facing him.

"One mistake? That's all it took for you to finally leave me?" Zayn sounds so angry, the small shakes and cracks of his voice give him away.

"Take an extra blanket, I know you get cold at night." Niall stuffs a fluffy pillow under her stomach and shuts her eyes, falling asleep easily before Zayn even leaves the room.

***

"You are just soooo pretty!" Harry coos at her niece. Kali smiles big, showing all six of her teeth as drool dribbles down her chin.

She really is very pretty.

"You're lucky Winnie isn't here, nobody can compliment someone else when Winnie is around." Zayn really geeked that babies head up.

Any time Kalianne gets any attention Winnie prances around in their faces, reminding them that she is pretty too.

"My precious Kali-bug!" Harry ignore Niall, grabbing the baby's fat little hands.

"You should be the one doing this, you know." Niall reminds her best friend as she chops (slices?) apples for the pie.

"You're pregnant not handicapped Love," the curly haired beauty chirps. "Besides, you're not a proper mum until you bake for your kiddies."

Niall snorts, handing Kali an apple chunk to suck on. She /can/ chew it, she just doesn't like to. Marches to the beat of her own drum and what not.

"So giving up my entire life and devoting every waking moment I have to tend to every aspect of their lives means absolutely nothing? Noted."

Harry grins, now patting the babies soft wavy hair as Kali is currently distracted with food. "Nope, not until you've baked them pies. Look it up."

She's such a shit. Niall continues sloppily cutting the apples though, secretly excited to show Ivan the treat she made while he was at school. He loves pie, Julius is more of a donut kind of guy so she's going to pick him up some on the way to get him. Winnie only eats _pretty_  desserts (anything pink, purple, yellow, and certain shades of red if it has enough sprinkles) so Niall will pick her up some princess cookies while she's at it.

"So." Harry comes up beside Niall, carefully arranging the apples in the pie crust. "Zayn's been at my house everyday this week, and most of last week."

It's only Wednesday.

"He hasn't been going to work?" Niall asks, curious. He leaves before she gets the kids up for school at seven thirty... why else would he be gone so early?

"Mhm." Harry hums. "For a few hours, him and Lou. Then they're at my house."

They moved too, about a year ago into a bigger house. They needed more room after Harry had the twins and they decided to foster a teen who'd lost her mother due to some tragic event Niall doesn't remember. The girl is really lovely though, a bit shy but very lovely.

"Too bad none of yours are in diapers anymore. Could make him change them as a form of rent, God knows he doesn't change any here."

They currently have one in diapers, so it's not like she has a lot to change either but at one point in time Niall was changing three different diapers all day for months. It was understandable that Zayn didn't want to change Winnie, there was no excuse with Ivan or JuJu though.

"He's mopey." Harry's lips pop around the words, eyes trained on the fruit.

"He needs a hobby." Niall shrugs. She knows where Harry is going with this... sort of.

"Louis told me Zee thinks you're going to divorce for real this time." She says quietly, more of a question than a statement.

Niall puts the knife down and turns around to lean on the counter, pursing her lips and folding her arms over her chest.

"Honestly H..." She shakes her head. "If my kids weren't old enough to be affected by it, I'd of been gone the day that shit happened."

It's the truth. All four of the kids adore their daddy though. Kalianne is at the age where she wouldn't remember but she gets all smiley and shy around Zayn just like the other kids did when they were her age. Niall would never take them away from Zayn, or Zayn away from them.

"Do you really mean that though?" Harry pleads, sad and nervous. "Or are you just still mad?"

Niall walks over to the kitchen entrance and puts the baby gate up, then takes Kali out of the high chair and sets her on the floor with a bowl of cut bananas (she actually eats those).

"For a long time he was all I had." Niall rolls her eyes at herself for how pathetic and nostalgic she sounds. "He made me feel safe even when I technically wasn't. It was like, I knew that I'd be okay no matter what because he'd always make it better."

Niall takes a seat at the kitchen table, rubbing her fingers in her eyes to keep from tearing up. She'll just get frustrated if she starts crying.

"But this time it's him who hurt me and I'm so lost and betrayed." She shrugs, watching her daughter curl her little finger around the slimey fruit. "I don't know."

Harry gnaws her bottom lip, staring at Niall. "If you ever need anything you know I'm-"

"Right around the corner, I know." The blonde offers a tired smile to her friend. "I'm numb to it all right now, don't worry about me."

"Aw babe, you know who you're talking to?" Harry giggles. "I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry."

Niall snorts, nodding because yeah, it's true. Harry's biggest character trait is worrying. That's her personality.

"Yeh, well. Worry about finishing that pie that I'll be taking credit for."

****

They're watching a movie as a family before bedtime, since Zayn is actually home before bedtime for once. As parents it's their job to keep the kids out of their bull shit, so Zayn is getting away with a _lot_  of unnecessary touching. (Rubbing her belly, putting his arm around her, fucking kissing her head).

On what Winnie must deem a boring part, she hops in front of her parents, one hand on each of their thighs as she jumps up and down.

"Mummy did you know me daddy has a guuuuuurlfriend?"

When Niall turns to look at Zayn, she notices Ivan staring at his sister in horror. Julius is completely captured in the movie, always is when super heroes are involved.

"No princess, I have a wife." Zayn attempts to save himself.

"Who told you daddy has a girlfriend, missy?" Niall raises an eyebrow at her daughter, acting as if this is just another one of the many silly things Winnie says on a daily basis before Ivan has a heart attack. He's only eight, that's not good for his health.

"Me friend Junifer at school!"

Niall knows for a fact there is nobody in Winnie's class called "Junifer", but there is a Jennifer who loves to tell people her birthday is June Tenth. (Winnie must have told Niall and Zayn about "Jennifer who's Birthday is June Tenth" about a million times her first week of school).

"Oh yeah? Well how would Junifer know that?" Niall blinks at the girl, who stops hopping to give a permanent eye roll.

"Her mummy seen them on Space Books, duuuuuuh!"

Niall pays too much money to send her children to school for them to come home with this nonsense. Guess who won't be going to school for the rest of the week? All three Malik kids. That's who.

"Your mummy is the only girlfriend daddy has ever had, okay silly head?" Zayn bops her nose with his index finger, making the little girl giggle.

"Lucky daddy, huh?" Niall jokes, and just like that Ivan is instantly relaxed and the topic is forgotten, switched to Winnie asking Zayn if she can have a "fragon taptoo".

Absolutely not.

***

That night Zayn weasels his way into Niall's bed, and hesitantly, she lets him.

She lets him do some other stuff too, but it's been so long and she cannot be blamed for Zayn's wandering hands, alright.

"Oh my god," Niall's back arches off of the mattress, Zayn's mouth latched to her neck.

"Miss you so much baby," he whispers into her skin, running his tongue over the fresh bruise.

"Put it," Niall pants, reaching between them for his cock. "Put it in, Zayn,"

They both still have bottoms on, that's how worked up she is. It started with him innocently kissing the belly goodnight, to him kissing her cunt through her shorts. She doesn't even know how he maneuvered himself to her throat, honestly. But they haven't kissed on the lips, and Niall's not going to let that happen. That'll hurt Zayn more than it will her anyway.

"Yeah?" He shifts his hips, grinding his crotch into her hand harder. "Gonna let me fuck you, baby?"

Niall whimpers, jutting her hips forward for any kind of friction.

"Say it baby, tell me you want me to fuck you."

"Fuck me," _you piece of shit._

It's selfish, her letting him have sex with her. She's still mad and not even close to forgiving him yet, if she does at all even. But her entire... libido, revolves around Zayn. Every time she gets off, even when it's by herself he's what she thinking about when she comes, it's his name she cries.

Zayn hovers over her, pulling her shorts down first before quickly grabbing his cock out of his boxers, moving fast like he's worried if he takes too long Niall will change her mind.

She won't. She gets an arm cramp whenever she fucks herself with toys. It's not the same, not as good as having someone else do all of the work for you.

"Holy shit," Zayn groans at the same time Niall swears: "Oh my fucking God,"

Only part of the head of his prick is in and it's already a stretch, so tight around his ridiculous girth.

"So big," she chokes on her breath, inhaling too much when Zayn starts pushing the rest of the way in.

She clenches involuntarily, feeling his cock literally throb inside of her. It's been months since he's been inside of her, weeks since anything else including her own fingers have been in her. She prefers quick wanks these days, rubbing her clit in the shower just to get the job done.

Zayn pulls back the slightest bit, pushing in again in a way that feels like he's vibrating, probably mostly because he doesn't want to pull out completely but it feels amazing regardless.

"Why?" He asks when she dodges a kiss, resting his forehead on her cheek and kissing her jaw instead.

"Just, oh my god!" Niall's body twitches. She feels so full, the head is massaging her spot and his pubic hair is stimulating her clit all at the same time. "Keep fucking me."

Zayn laughs, breath puffing against her neck. "Not gonna let me kiss you though?"

Niall pushes her pelvis up, curling her leg around Zayn's hips a little higher. "Don't wanna kiss you, just wanna come."

Maybe, _maybe_  if she comes hard enough she'll get sleepy and soft and let him kiss her a tiny bit before she falls asleep. And _maybe_ , if that happens according to plan she won't kick him out when he cuddles her.

Zayn stills completely. "So this is just sex, then?" He asks, voice louder than before.

What did he think it was? " _Making love_ "? Fuck no.  
"Yes, why are you stopping?" Niall complains.

He pushes himself up on both hands, looking her directly in the face. "I can fuck you but I can't kiss you?"

"I thought that's what we were doing?"

Zayn licks his lips, nodding at to her surprise pulling out. Just as she's about to question it, the words transform into a moan instead because he slams back in, hard. With out stopping he sits back on his knees, dragging her towards the edge of the bed by her legs.

"Oh fuck!" Niall cries, one hand on her belly and the other fisting the sheets by her head.

Zayn fucks her fast and hard, eyes trained on her face even as he tries to lift her shirt. She stops him as soon as it gets to her breasts though, she's a tad insecure this pregnancy. Her belly is fine, though.

"Uh uh," she shakes her head, whimpering with each thrust. "This one," she grips her right breast, shaking it. "is bigger than this one," she grabs her left breast.

Zayn watches her hands, eyes flickering from her face to her hands.

The mommy kink went as fast as it came, but he's still a tit guy. They look weird though and Niall doesn't feel like he deserves that kind of... confidence from her right now.

He uses his thumb on her clit, way harder than necessary but it has her coming away. Hard, and twitching through it. He pulls out and tugs himself once before come shoots all over her stomach, painting the entirety of it.

Fucking ass hole.

"Oh my god," Niall blinks, panting.

The second he's done coming, Zayn looks at her for a brief moment before going to his bedside table to wipe up with tissues.

"I gotta take another shower," Niall comments, twirling her fingers though the sticky art on her belly.

"Unless you wanna go again?" She offers, obviously expecting Zayn to jump on the opportunity. But... when she looks up, he isn't there, and the bed room door is wide open. She listens for a second and hears his door down the hall closing. Huh. Okay then.

Niall rinses off quickly then makes her way down to the kitchen, preparing a couple sandwiches and piling a few huge cookies on the plate too. Grabs two waters and heads back upstairs, tapping quietly on Zayn's door so she doesn't disturb the children. That's quite downside to having hardwood floors, everything echoes. It's not so bad though, because all four of the children sleep with a television on.

"Come in." Zayn calls.

Niall wonders if he knows it's her, or maybe he suspects it's one of the kids? Julius is known to wake up in the middle of the night to find his parents, usually he has them tuck him back in but sometimes they let him sleep in their bed.

Well. Niall never tells him no, at least. He's suck a chill kid compared to his siblings, he doesn't ask for much.

"I brought you some food." Niall declares, offering the plate to him.

He's sitting at the desk with his laptop open. The bed is still made up, just a little crumpled with a smaller blanket over the comforter like he's been sleeping on the bed rather than in it.

Zayn licks his bottom teeth. "Thanks."

He doesn't take the plate though, so Niall awkwardly walks it over to him and sets it next to his computer.

"You didn't have to rush out, you know." She shrugs, breaking one of the cookies in half and biting it. (She bought them earlier when she donuts and cookies for her babies. They're so good that diabetes would be worth it.)

Zayn hums, clicking shit on his laptop. It's different, now he's the one being distant and it's... It's not a good feeling. Niall doesn't deserve it, she feels. She deserves groveling and begging and a whole lot more ass sucking, literally and figuratively.

"So do you... not, want to sleep with me? I'm asking you," Niall rubs a hand over her own belly, subtly swaying it closer to Zayn's face so that he will too because she can't exactly ask him to just rub it. That'd be weird. At least, right now it would be.

He signs, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hand over his face.

"I think," he shakes his head. "I think I need to stay away from you for a while."

Niall blinks. Her heart speeds up, she takes a few steps back until her heels hit the bed and she sits.

"We already barely see each other."

Why is suddenly so bummed? She was just saying earlier that she wouldn't care to ever see him again. This is what good dick does to a girl, that must be what this is.

"I know. I hate it." He shrugs, not looking at her. "But when I do see you, it's not. I don't know, it hurts."

Niall nods, not understanding but pretending to.

Who is she kidding? It hurts her too, but all she sees when she looks at him is the way he smiled as the sun shone on his beautiful face, the way he licked his lips around a laughing smile as he watched the girl on his lap tell an animated story to the girl next to them. That's what hurts.

"So what's going to change, then?" She asks quietly.

He clicks his tongue. "I'm going to stay at Louis' until I find a house. I still want to see the kids so I can take them to school, or pick them up. Whatever you want."

"Okay."

"And they can stay with me, whenever they want. Couple nights a week cause I know you can't function without them." He attempts to joke, but it isn't funny.

"There's a lot of things I can't function without." She mutters, managing to look him in the eyes when she does.

Zayn looks away first, clearing his throat awkwardly. "You should get some sleep. I'll take the kids to school in the morning. Nine o'clock, right?"

What the hell?

"They have to be there at eight fifteen." She fights a laugh when Zayn's eyes widen as he checks the time.

She snatches a sandwich and flops it on the table, taking the entire plate with her. "Night."

And if she slams his door a little harder than necessary, well. Who's going to say anything about it?

***

"Where's my daddy!" Winnie demands, stomping around with her fists on her hips.

"Why are you wearing that Mummy?" Ivan's nose scrunches at Niall's fancy black dress. It's super tight and she's already regretting putting it on but it's too late to back out now.

"You can wear this too Mumma," Julius pulls off the beaded necklace he made himself at school, smiling when his mummy accepts it and puts it around her wrist twice.

"Thank you baby!" She gives her littlest boy a big kiss on his cheek, wiping away the lip gloss she leaves behind with a tissue. "I'm going out to dinner," she says to Ivan, turning to Winnie. "After I drop you off at your dad's."

It's not really a date or anything, but. Zayn doesn't know that.

"Oh no!" Winnie sobs with her head tilted again, shoulders shaking. "She's going to the farm place without us and we have to eat eggs at dad's!"

The fact that there are literal tears on her face shows how spoiled she is.

"I wanna go to the farm place." Julius whispers to his big brother all sad.

"I'm not going to the farm place, stop that!" Winnie's crying is making Kali's lip wobble.

"Alright, I'm ready. Let's go." Niall takes the last pin out of her hair and tosses it on the counter.

Her curls actually look pretty good, considering she was sweating, her arms were getting tired, and her kids did everything in their power to distract her.

It's about a fifteen minute drive to Zayn's house. On the way Niall picks them up a couple of pizzas because Winnie really made her feel bad when she said they had to eat eggs. Ivan confirmed that was just at breakfast, but still.

All three of them run to the door the second the car stops in the driveway, throwing it open without even knocking. At least they took their bags with them.

Zayn comes out after Niall has Kalianne on her hip, just when she's trying to figure out how to get the diaper bag and the pizzas without dropping anything.

"Whoa, hello." Zayn grabs the baby, looking Niall up and down. He's checking her out...

"I brought pizza, your princess made it very clear she doesn't want to eat any more of your eggs." Niall jokes.

Zayn nods, staring directly at her breasts.

Biting back a grin, Niall holds the shakes the pizza boxes. "Do you mind if I come in? Say goodnight to the kids,"

Zayn swallows then clears his throat. "Yeah. Yeah sure, come on in."

The house is nice, oddly similar to the old one. It's not the old one, just set up the same. Naturally the television is as big as the wall it's on and there are tons of game systems under it. Nerd.

Niall sets the food on a random kitchen counter. When she turns to leave, she sees Zayn leaning against a wall with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, hi." She laughs, holding a hand over her heart.

"What is this?" He asks quietly, small smile on his lips.

"What is what?"

He gestures lazily to her body, wrapped in soft, tight black material.

What do they call a little black dress for pregnant women? Maternity black dress? Despite being seven months pregnant, she does feel very pretty. Hot, even.

"You gonna play dress up every time you drop them off?"

The last time she dropped them off she was wearing spandex yoga leggings and a stained sweater...

Niall fidgets. "I'm going out to dinner."

"Mhm. With who?"

The fact that she hasn't filed for divorce must give him a false sense of security. They are married, but as of now they are separated.

"A few friends." She shrugs.

Zayn pushes himself off of the wall, slowly swaggering over to her. "You do know, Niall, that I know everything about you, yeah?"

His fingers gently push her hair over her shoulder, her eyes following the movement.

"Men disgust you, strange men at least." There's a small confident smile on his lips that doesn't need to be there.

"The thought of another man even holding your hand," he shakes his head. "Makes you shudder."

As if on cue, she shudders.

He's not wrong.

Niall looks at his lips for a long moment, flickering to his eyes and back to his lips.

"Too bad the same can't be said for you." She watches his reaction just long enough to see it falter before she walks away. After she kisses her kids, she leaves.

*

Niall blows off the dinner and purchases a tenner worth of chocolate bars. She eats most of them in the car.

*

She doesn't really know _how_  it happened, but somehow she ends up in Zayn's house. In his room. On his bed. On him.

He makes her squirt though, so it doesn't feel like a loss.

*

"I should go." Niall mumbles, sleepy and making no movement whatsoever.

Zayn rubs the backs of her shoulders, she feels his tummy shake with from giggling.

"You should stay."

She looks up at him, chin resting on his chest. This would be so much more comfortable if she wasn't knocked up.

"Thought you wanted distance?"

He shakes his head. "Nah. Not really."

They've been at a stand still for months. They're fighting but they aren't, they're talking but they aren't, they're splitting up but they aren't.

"Can I ask you something? I'll still stay, but I want the truth."

She's lying. She'll stay if the truth is what she wants to hear. Otherwise she'll end up crying and probably murdering him and let's be real here, she'd never be able to hide his body before the kids woke up.

"Have you... kissed, or like. Hooked up with anyone besides me? Since all of this happened, or well. Since we've been married, I guess."

If he says yes...

"No." Zayn answers immediately. "Fuck no, Niall. Everybody else annoys me."

Niall smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I annoy you too."

Zayn bites his bottom lip, pinching her red cheek between his thumb and pointer finger. "Love being annoyed by you."

"Really though. You were at a hotel with all those girls,"

"Niall-"

"You didn't even get a blow job? A hand job?" She's never asked these questions before because she wasn't ready for the answer.

She's still not, honestly. She just misses him. He's her best friend and most days the only adult interaction she gets is with Tanya, since Margaret's passed. Tanya is so fucking boring.

"No. Nobody but you since we've been married."

Niall eyes him skeptically. "The first time or the second?" She refers to their legal wedding versus their real wedding.

"The first one!" Zayn laughs. "I can barely keep up with you, what would I want with some hoe?"

She hides her face in his chest so he doesn't see how big she's smiling, though he can probably feel her teeth she's so happy. "Don't slut shame."

She blindly tweaks his nipple so he knows she's serious.

"Just sayin'."

"I miss you." She blurts, tracing the tattoos that litter his chest. "You moved, and I miss you."

"I couldn't," he clears his throat. "I couldn't be around you every day knowing you hated me. Not knowing when I was allowed to talk to you, touch you. I can't."

"It's hard for me too, because I don't know when I want you to talk or touch me. I think I kind of just wanted you to do it anyway, like. Fight for me, I guess." She confesses.

He did fight a little, but he gives up so easily.

"I know baby, I'm sorry." His fingers massage her scalp, her lip jutting out because she's just. Emotional. "But I think... we should talk about that tomorrow. When you're not sleepy and coming off the best orgasm of your life."

He's right. Niall pinches his nipple again, this time for being too cocky.

***

Naturally the next morning Niall wouldn't let Zayn kiss her, even after they both brushed their teeth. She yelled at him for something, she doesn't remember what, while she stole some of his clothes because there was no way she was putting that damn dress back on. He'd already taken the kids to school before he woke her up, and even though she called him some very rude names he still insisted he would watch Kalianne until it was time to pick them up.

She spent the day shopping, eating, and replying to people on Twitter.

Later on, a little after bedtime, Julius taps softly on her door. She looks up from her iPad and smiles.

"What's up, babe?"

His little feet pad over to the bed, using the step ladder they put there specially for the kids. (And not at all for Niall, because she is not short.)

"You okay, JuJu?" Niall asks as the little boy crawls into her lap and lays his head on her shoulder. He nods, which means he's lying.

"You have a bad dream?" She guesses, though she doubts he's even been to sleep yet.

"No." He says, shaking his head.

Niall just holds him, patting his back and rocking him. He'll talk when he's ready, or he'll fall asleep. She reaches for her phone to text Zayn back about when he can see the kids again (even though he asked when he could see /her/ again) when the baby starts kicking. Julius sits back a little and palms her belly where his brother kicked him.

"Is your brother saying hi to you?"

Julius nods, poking back. Only him and Kali attempt to bond with her belly on their own. Ivan is done with his parents, they never stop bringing more kids into his life and Winnie just doesn't care.

"What should we name him, Ju?"

The five year old shrugs one shoulder. Niall just smiles at him and ruffles his hair.

Finally, his little voice says: "Blaise."

His mummy's loud laugh makes him jump, but he smiles shy and proud.

"Your daddy will love that."

Julius frowns, eyes down on his hands on her belly. Oh...

"What's wrong baby? You miss daddy?"

Zayn just dropped him off after school, and they all spent time together last night but maybe it wasn't enough? Julius tends to get left out because his brother and sisters are a lot more demanding than he is. He's very shy. They try to include him but sadly it's harder than it sounds with four kids. He doesn't like the spotlight.

Julius shrugs again.

That's most likely what this is about then. He misses Zayn.

"Should I call daddy so he can come lay with you and watch a movie for bed?"

The boys eyes light up, smiling big, he nods.

 _"Maybe late-night calls will be our always._ "

What the fuck?

"Your son misses you." Niall's... Niall doesn't even know where he gets this shit from. What kind of a thirty something year old man answers the phone like that?

 _"Oh,_ " his tone suddenly more serious.

"Yeah, so. If you don't have plans with Cassie Julius would like for you to spend the night." Niall looks at her son to find him staring back at her, small and hopeful. "In his bed." She clarifies.

Julius' eyes go wide and his mouth does that thing where it stretches wide like he always does when he's very excited about something.

 _"Cas- Niall it's not_ -"

The only reason she doesn't do her eyes and hang up is because of the little sweetie in her lap.

"It's getting late, and his bed time was an hour ago. So if that's a yes he would like you to be here soon."  
Zayn starts to say okay, so that's when Niall hangs up.

About thirty minutes later, Zayn comes over and Niall does not look at him as she walks a very sleepy Julius to his room.

"Niall, can we-"

"Goodnight baby. Daddy's going to sleep with you tonight, okay?" She kisses Julius' forehead. She also may or may not slap the remote to his television into Zayn's chest harder than necessary.

*

She gave it one hour before Zayn came to bother her.

It only took thirty seven minutes, but who's counting? Not Niall.

"Hey, he's asleep." Zayn's currently peeking his through the cracked door.

"Kay." She keeps her eyes on the television. Sports highlights, to a game she already watched earlier. It's that or porn, which she refuses to watch when Zayn's in the house.

"Can we talk?"

"No."

He comes in anyway, and this time she actually is irritated. The shit she said last night all went out the window when his phone rang at three in the morning, flashing a females name on the I.D.

"I'd like to explain," he cautiously takes a few steps closer, and a few more when the first ones don't get him yelled at.

"It's not-"

"What I think? Yeah, it never is." Niall snaps. "Even when I see it with my own eyes."

Zayn sighs, leaning his head on the bed post at the end of the bed. "It looks bad, but Niall I swear. She's just a friend."

She stares at him. He's so pathetic that he doesn't even continue. That's all his weak ass has.

"You're a piece of shit." Niall says casually. Zayn bows his head like the little bitch Niall knows he is. "Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my house."

"So what? Last night was nothing?"

Niall feels like it's justified, so she doesn't need to explain why she throws her phone at his head. It doesn't have a password on it, because it doesn't need one. (Except on a certain album of pictures that little eyes have no business seeing.)

Zayn's however, has a password that is not anything birthday, anniversary or other important date. After /Cassie/ called, Niall couldn't even crack the code. Why does he need a code? Because he's a shady piece of shit, obviously.

"What the fuck!" He rubs his forehead. There's going to be a tiny cut there, good.

"Get out!" She screams. The baby is kicking up a storm, feeling first had how distressed his mummy is. Poor babe. "You can have them Tuesday's and Saturday's unless I tell you otherwise now please leave."

She's pretty sure her phone is cracked from hitting his hard ass head and then the floor but she really doesn't care right now. Her entire body is shaking with anger.

"No, I need answers Niall!" He yells back.

Fuck his answers. Fuck what he needs.

"What you need is to get the fuck out of my face."

His fist slams against the bed post. "I'm sick of this shit, Niall! You want me dead until you're horny, then you want me back and-"

"You're nothing to me but an easy lay." She lies.

Not really, because he is easy. But he's not just that. He also shares her children. And that's where it ends.

Zayn chokes on his breath, visibly bothered and upset. "Do I need to move on then? Are we ever going to work us out or I need to try to get over you because it's been months and I-"

"You've already moved on, you daft bitch! I fucking hate you and if it's not about the kids we don't need to talk!"

"We're done? Say it, say the words."

Niall feels like a beached whale. Her stomachs hanging out, there are candy wrappers all over the bed and like, three plates on her bedside table. She's depressed, okay? Depressed and pregnant.

"Die."

He rolls his eyes. "Is this the end or not, Niall?"

"Ask the women's panties in your laundry basket."

Zayn slaps his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

That's right fucker. Niall snooped and she doesn't feel an ounce bad about it.

"Those are Harry's. She does my laundry and-"

"Okay well, we're done. I'll see you Saturday when I drop them off."

"Done done or done here?"

Niall switches off the television and rolls so her back is facing him, throwing a leg over the body pillow that has taken his place. "Both."

***

Days drag on. Days turn to weeks, and eventually it's been an entire month since Niall's said more than ten words a week to Zayn.

The media knows about Zayn's separate house. The kids are taken out of school when Winnie comes home asking if they're "vidorced" because they don't live together anymore.

Zayn's sister Doniya texts to see how she is, and how the kids are. She's great, she always says, and makes sure to send plenty of pictures of her nieces and nephews.

***

Niall's in labor. Her water broke at seven in the morning, but her contractions are still ten or so minutes apart so she's still got time.

"Is he /reallllllly/ gonna be here tomarlow, or you're tricking me!?" Winnie demands, fists curled on her hips.

"Your new brother will be here tonight, but you'll be sleeping so you can see him tomorrow."

Tomorrow is also Kalianne's real birthday, so they celebrated yesterday. Good thing too, Niall won't be much fun tomorrow. The kids had a great time with their cousins at the kiddie arcade though. Zayn was there too. It was low-key, just family so they didn't have to pose together for too many pictures.

"And then no more or I'm getting my own house like my dad." Ivan lays down the law.

According to his bank account he could afford his own house now too. He's eight. Niall and especially Zayn didn't have shit when they were eight.

"Can you give this to him, mumma?" Julius hands her a piece of paper with a drawing on it. It's a picture of himself, with a big squiggly "I <3 U" on half the page.

"Oh course I can! His first present, that's very nice of you JuJu."

"I didn't get a present when I was borned!" Winnie whines to Julius, very jealous.

JuJu looks worryingly at his big brother.

"Yeah you did. You lost it cause you were a baby." Big brother saves the day.

Niall's bottom lip wobbles as she pulls her biggest baby closer to her for a cuddle. He's so big now! Big and mature, so sweet. She loves him so much! Even with all of the other kids in her face and womb he is still her favorite, regardless of how much he looks like his father.

"Hello daddy guess what!" Winnie squeaks with Niall's phone pressed to her cheek.

Her pig tails are all messy around her tiara and she dressed herself today, in what she calls princess clothes. Really it's just a tutu and striped leggings and a very very sparkly shirt.

But. Did she call him or did he call her? She's got to stop leaving her phone where these monsters can reach.

"JuJu gotted the /baby/ a present and not me!"

Julius makes a noise of protest, looking at his mummy like he's scared he'll be in trouble.

"Do you /promise/?" Winnie bats her lashes even though they have no affect on Zayn when he can't see them. Little flirt. "Okay!"

He probably bribed her with a bunch of crap just to give Niall the phone, which she throws on the sofa next to her and says "Here.".

"Yeah?" Niall says in lieu of hello.

/"How are you? Are you ready to go in? Can I be there when you give birth?"/

"Fine, not ready, don't care. Need someone to drive me anyway, don't wanna ask Harry. Your sisters are coming over, I think your dad too."

Winnie is reading Kali a book (a book is open but she's making up her own story) by the (non lit) fireplace, Julius probably back in the play room where he likes to have his alone time. Ivan is currently picking his nose while watching t.v. and using Niall's boob as a pillow. She's content.

Until a contraction ripples through her, making her whimper.

/"Shit, you sure you don't want to go in? I'm in your area,"/ Zayn offers, worried.

"Not yet. Your sisters won't be here for another hour, I can wait." She closes her eyes, whimpering again. Ivan puts his free hand on her stomach, rubbing it while he watches his show.

"Why are you in my area? Are you waiting somewhere? Just come here,"

Does she want him here? Not really. But she will want him there when she's in pain, she usually does. He's always made her feel safe when she needs him, hopefully he still has that affect since they haven't been as close recently.

/"Alright. You need anything anything? Want some food or new slippers... anything?"/

Niall snorts. "Get the kids some food,"

"Cheeseburgers with just cheese." Ivan says loudly, not looking away from the t.v..

The pregnant mum giggles. "Did you hear that? Ivan votes burgers."

"/Cheese/ burgers mummy." He corrects.

"Cheeseburgers." Niall repeats.

/"I'm pulling in to Five Guy's now, what do you want? You should eat, you know they aren't going to let you when we get there."/

"Yeah, get me the usual."

Zayn says okay, and promises to be there in twenty minutes. She texts him to pick up a pizza too, so his sister's don't have to worry about finding food.

He shows up two minutes after Winnie accuses Niall of tricking her about the new baby again.

Niall's patting Kalianne's butt, rocking her back and forth ad the little girl doses off. She's fighting it though.

"You're gonna pick him up like Kali he's not in hers belly!" Winnie declares to her father, snatching fries from the center of the table.

"Then why does she look fat dummy?" Ivan flicks a crumb at his sister, Julius ignores them both and focuses on his food. He's always in his own little world, that one.

Niall always says how Ivan is just like his dad, but really he's a bit of both of them. Julius though. Zayn's dad Yaser said Zayn was very quiet and distant when he was JuJu's age. Supposedly that's why he was separated from his sister's, so he could have one on one time with the woman who was meant to be his step mum, to get him to open up and be comfortable with her because he wouldn't talk to anybody.

That makes Niall sad for Zayn. Not that she was any better, though. While Zayn was quiet and hiding from everyone Niall was being forced to stay quiet so her sperm donor could feel her up.

That's why they spoil their kids.

"Don't call your sister names." Zayn says in his quiet "dad" voice.

She's supposed to hate him but Niall's heart feels swollen with /fond/ when she looks at him. He gave her a good life and the world's most beautiful children, okay. She's still getting used to hating him.

"Daddy did you get me the presents?" Winnie asks, mouth full of potato.

"Mumma," Julius' tiny voice calls, tapping Niall ever so gently.

"You're not in trouble baby." She assures him. "Zayn," she gestures to Julius, telepathically telling him to make it better.

"Ju!" Zayn cheers, this time using his proud dad voice instead of the stern one. Julius bites his lip to camouflage his big smile. "Where's the present you got for your new brother? Mum told me it was very cool,"

"I'll get it!" Winnie screams, hopping down from her chair and bolting towards the living room.

"Are you staying with us tonight dad?" Ivan asks.

Niall saves him. "No baby he's coming with mummy to help me with your brother, but auntie Doniya will be here with you."

"Waliyha too?" Julius asks. She's his favorite.

"Maybe."

"Look daddy here's what JuJu made for the brother and hims didn't make me nothing!" Winnie stomps her foot, throwing the picture at Zayn's face. The girls words all slur together from how fast she's talking and because her two front teeth are both missing.

Niall zones out, focusing on her food and the flutters in her belly. Little ones trying to get comfortable. She hopes he's as good as his brothers and doesn't get ADHD like his sister.

Niall won't be able to handle two of those energy balls.

***

"Nervous?" Zayn asks, folding some of her clothes into a bag for her. She has some stuff packed but she doesn't remember where she put that bag. Oops, pregnancy brain. Single mother of four brain.  
"Not really. I've had my gina torn open twice already, so." She shrugs. "I just hope I don't have to have another c-section."

Zayn nods, folding her gown on top so she can find it easily when they get to the hospital.

"Make sure they tie my tubes too, in case I pass out or forget." Niall holds her gigantic belly with both hands, her toes flex to hard her ankle cracks. The contractions are getting closer and closer together.  
"Really? When did you decide that?" His eyebrows furrow as he bends down to change her socks for her. Her feet always get so cold when she's at the hospital.

"Does it matter? I don't want anymore." Five is plenty. She wanted Ivan, well. She wanted all of her kids, of course. But. When she had Ivan she swore she didn't want anymore but him because he was so perfect. She forgot to get her birth control shot one time and bam. A Julius was created. How she got to pregnancy four is beyond her.

"To birth anymore, or anymore period?" Zayn sounds a little... off. Oh well. If he wants more kids he can have one of his whores birth it. Niall's done, with pregnancy and him.

But the thought of another woman carrying his baby makes Niall see red.

"Are you going to have more?" Niall snaps, ignoring his question. Hers is more important.

Zayn raises his eyebrow at her. "That's what I'm trying to find out..."

Huh?

"Well FYI your next bitches kids will not be around mine."

It really sucks that every time things are alright between them Niall's jealousy creeps in and she ends up saying... stuff like that.

"I don't think I'll ever have a 'next bitch', and I have no intention of having kids with someone other than you." He's still crouching in front her, one hand wrapped around her foot and the other on her knee.

"You're an amazing mother. There is nobody else I could ever imagine raising my kids, you set the bar unrealistically high."

Niall's toes brush against his thigh, on purpose.

"Thank you." She wants to kiss him so bad. Not in a sexual way, but. She just needs to kiss him.

He must catch her staring at his lips, because he swipes his tongue over the bottom one, wetting it just enough that it shines and slowly comes up. She's nervous for some reason, expecting a kiss on the lips from her own damn husband. He bypasses her lips and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead.

It hurts. It hurts so much and she can feel that it hurts him too. Why did he do this to them? They're having another baby and it's going to be born into this shit!

"Why are you crying?" Zayn whispers, thumbing under her eyes.

"I'm not enough for you anymore." Her voice comes out pathetic and squeaky.

What she said is true though. She's not enough, whether it's emotionally or physically... She's not. Her body isn't what it used to be, that's for sure. That's probably why he had to go out get other girls. He's not attracted to her anymore.

That's her fault, well. It could be. She doesn't wear makeup anymore and she doesn't do much with her hair, won't wear pants unless they have elastic. Despite all that she still thought everything was good between them. Sex especially.

"What?"

"I feel so unattractive!" She buries her face in her hands, flinging herself back on the bed when a stupid contraction hits again. Now's not the time, child.

"Niall you're the most beautiful person in the world to me, what are you talking about?"

"Don't touch me." She slaps his hand away, returning it to her face.

"Ummm..." a third voice says. They both look at the door to see Louis standing there, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"Just a sec, Lou." Zayn tries to dismiss.

Niall doesn't want to be alone with Zayn anymore, though. "Where's Harry?" She pushes herself up, it's a struggle so she doesn't protest when Zayn helps her.

"Just me today, sorry to disappoint."

"What's up man?" Zayn asks, agitated with his friend. Probably because they haven't had alone time, him and Niall, and now that they have some Louis is here.

Right on time, if you ask Niall.

"Are you driving me to the hospital?" Niall asks, cramming her own blanket into the bag.

Zayn snaps his head to stare at her all questioning.  
"If you still wanted me to, yeah." Louis confirms.

"I thought-" Zayn starts.

Niall stands up, walking her bag to Louis. "Yeah, let's go."

Louis takes her bag and even holds his arm out for her to help her balance down the stairs. She ignores the screams coming from the room, the loud crashes too. She has to learn to cope without him.

*

Zayn shows up anyway, despite her telling the doctors not to let him through. He must of paid them off. She already got the epidural and she was just dozing off when Zayn stormed in.

"Thanks Lou, but I got it from here."

Louis stands up, looking at Niall uncomfortably.

"Would you get the hell out? We're trying to have a baby here!" Niall snaps, not at all helping with Louis' awkward fidgeting.

"Yeah, my baby! You were just fine with me driving you earlier, now I can't even be in the room? Fuck that, fuck no!" Zayn ushers Louis out of the room, who hesitantly obeys, waving Niall goodbye.

He totally just lost his spot as her new best friend, now it's Liam. Unless his hot girlfriend wants to be Niall's friend? Then he remains an acquaintance.

"You wanna hate me, then that's fine but I'm going to be there for our kids, and you damn it, whether you like it or not."

Niall blinks, sleepy and stunned.

"Okay."

Zayn clears his throat, humming with his hands on his hips. He's taken aback, but tries to disguise it by nodding his head.

"You're damn right that's okay." He mutters, taking a seat next to her where Louis was earlier.

Niall stares at him until she falls asleep.

*

"Are you sure I'm even in labour?" Niall asks, doubtful. She's sweaty and crying and the epidural was way too weak because she feels everything.

Figures, the first time she's ever gotten one and it doesn't fucking work.

"Ahg!" Niall grips her belly, screaming in pain as her other hand squeezes Zayn's fingers.

"You're definitely in labour." The doctor raises an eyebrow, obviously humored by the question.

There's nothing funny about this though. Her bed is drenched in sweat because she is drenched in sweat and she's so, so thirsty but Zayn can't sneak her anything to drink besides these stupid ice chips because doctors keep roaming in and out of the room. Everything hurts and she misses Ivan.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get it out of me," Niall sobs, gripping Zayn's hand as she starts pushing.

All that does is ware her out more.

"Mrs. Malik, you need to stop that or you won't have the energy to when it's actually time. You're not dilated enough, perhaps your husband can take you for a walk?"

Zayn immediately agrees, running over to get that stupid wheelchair she has to sit in.

"Have somebody change her sheets while we're gone." Zayn demands.

The cool air from the hallway instantly makes Niall feel better.

"Zee," she croaks, leaning back in the chair with arm draped on top of her belly and the other hanging over the side.

"Yeah, baby?" He says, so naturally. Like she's still actually his baby. She's not, but she can be for now.

"I need a drink," Niall complains, or begs. Actually, it's both. "Get me a coke, please I just need a coke."

She hears Zayn sigh but sure enough they're turning towards the vending machines. "Coke or cherry coke, Ni?"

"Cherry." She perks up, slapping the button herself after he puts change in it. "After I drink this I'll have energy to get your son out of me for good."

Zayn smiles down at her, fond and sleepy. They've been here for almost ten hours, and since she had an epidural almost immediately she wasn't able to go home. Two more epidurals later and she's still here.

"Buzz cola?" He jokes.

Niall nods, sucking down the soda. It's half gone when she hands it back, belching and jutting her thumb towards their room.

"I'm ready."

She wasn't playing either, because no less than fifteen minutes later Zayn was holding a goopy, screaming baby that has so much hair he literally has side burns.

***

Zayn clears his schedule for the next few months and moves back in. To the house, that is. They still aren't sharing a room. He comes in the room a lot though, since that is where the baby currently sleeps and he's been a blessing with taking the night duties. Niall's even pumping this time around so little Bam didn't have to cling to his mother like the rest of his siblings. It works out, because Kalianne needs special attention. She is not an "average" baby.

Currently, the four big babies are in bed with Niall watching a movie. It's almost midnight but it's Saturday. Zayn comes into the room, walking around with the tiny little baby like it's nothing, collecting whatever he needed from his bedside table with no problem.

It shouldn't be a problem, he ought to be a pro at handling newborns by now. They only had five hundred of them.

He eyes the kids, then looks at Niall who's already looking at him.

"Wanna watch a movie with me downstairs? I ordered that new one with Ice Cube."

Niall looks at the kids and miraculously they're all asleep. Winnie is cuddling Ivan (she probably threw her arm over him after she fell asleep) and Julius is next to Kali. Even in the big bed there's barely any space for Niall.

"Yeah, sure." Niall grabs a blanket and wraps it around her shoulders, following him to the stairs. He makes her go first because she's still sore and it takes her a while, but he insists he'll catch her even though he's behind her. He probably just smoked.

"We need a bigger bed." Niall comments, offhand and sleepy.

Zayn stares at her. "You mean you need a bigger bed." He corrects.

She shrugs, scooting closer to him on the couch and rubbing Blaise's little soft hairs. "I think I want you in it. Eventually."

Zayn mock gasps, smiling with his mouth open. It would be a shame in Niall shoved her mamba in there... shame she didn't bring it down with her.

"That bed is a good size though," he says honestly. It is, and it's comfortable. But.

"But with the four of them there was hardly any room for me. How are you and one more babe supposed to fit in?"

Zayn's grin makes her roll her eyes, the big dope. "What about..." He taps his chin. "Putting the kids in their own bed! Then there is more than enough room for you, and me."

"Great idea." Niall nods, rolling her eyes. That's not what she meant. The kids love sleeping in their bed, more often that not one of them sneaks in. Every time they decide to sneak in it'll be too cramped.

"We can do that tomorrow, if you want." Suggests, nudging Bam's swing with her foot.

"Uh, yeah." Obviously.

Niall hums, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Perfect. Right after you give me all of your passwords."

Not knowing the code to his phone has been driving her fucking nuts.

"Thirty seven thirty seven." He answers immediately. Niall smiles.

Bam sleeps through most of the movie. Zayn laughs when Niall starts singing along to the NWA songs. They end up making out before it's over until they fall asleep on the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I'm done with this yet or not a few people have asked me to expand on my other stories so I'm trying to focus on those lol thanks for reading :) hope you like it xoxox

"He didn't even _try_  to explain, he just got mad at me for being there but I was trying to surprise him!" Niall dabs under her eyes with another tissue, turning to her husband, "I was trying to surprise you!"

"She's always checking up on me!" Zayn screams. "I have no privacy, ever!"

"Why does he suddenly need privacy? Fifteen years with him and now he decides he wants privacy?! We don't have privacy in this marriage!"

Liam blinks. "You know I'm not actually a therapist, right?"

He made one little joke about it looking like a therapists office with him sitting in a chair across from their sofa and twenty minutes later he was regretting it. He came by to see the kids, Bam especially, and visit with them for a bit. He didn't sign up for all of this.

"We don't need therapy anyway." Zayn plops back against the sofa with his arms folded over his chest, waving his friends insinuation off.

"Right because you won't talk to me so why would you talk to a stranger?" Niall nags.

All he does is tell her how much he loves her and how she's the only one he wants... blah blah blah it's all crap because who the bloody fuck is Cassie?

"He won't talk to anyone except Louis, who won't even hint at their conversations to Harry." Niall tells Liam.

Liam's Hot Girlfriend (who doesn't like to be called Liam's Hot Girlfriend and insists on Sophia) is dragged into the room by Winnie. She's got pigtails with a million flower pins at least and very, very fancy make up. (Blue eyeshadow, heavy red lipstick, heavy pink blush, messy mascara. She looks great.) Winnie's makeup is a bit more... tasteful. They've clearly just given each other makeovers.

"Absolutely not-" Niall pulls Zayn down by the back of his shirt.

"You looks so pretty, honey!"

Winnie flutters her lashes, smiling and twirling her skirt. Sophia even curled the girls hair (which is very, very long).

"Oh my god!" Liam chokes when he sees his girlfriend's face.

"I did it! We're _princesses_!" Winnie tells him, getting all up in uncle Liam's face to make sure he hears her. "My daddy always thinks I'm a princess but now him only cares about that dang baby!"

Winnie climbs in Liam's lap. He has to shift Bam to make room for her.

"She is four!" Zayn glares at Sophia, who only shrugs so he turns his glare to Niall.

"They always just have /new/ babies and they always take me stuff!" The toddler continues complaining to her therapist uncle.

"There is _gunk_  on my child's face... She looks like she's fourteen!" Zayn also continues his ranting.

Niall shrugs. "I dunno, twelve tops."

"You really do look very beautiful, slug." Liam reassures Winnie. His hot girlfriend nods in agreement.

"When you leave every piece of makeup in this house is going with you." Zayn glares at Sophia, crossing his arms over his chest in a proper pout.

*

Liam and Sophia stay for dinner, which the kids love and Niall loves even more. It's so nice talking to adults who aren't Zayn, Harry, or a teacher. She doesn't even talk to Louis, not since Bam was born.

  
Well. They've talked a little obviously, considering Bam is three days shy of a month old. But it wasn't really a conversation.

"Do you think you'll want kids?" Niall asks Sophia, petting Bam's head as he sleeps in the pretty lady's arms.

Liam perks up at the question, clearly interested in the answer.

"Oh yeah." Sophia answers, easy breezy. "But not anytime soon. They're so perfect when they're babies but... no offense but I am not ready to deal with a full grown child yet."

Zayn snorts, Niall nodding in understanding. She was totally caught off guard the first time her sweet little Ivan called her a bitch. He was two, and he called everything a bitch, but it was totally unexpected. He was such an angel, but Niall supposes even angels can have potty mouths.

Now, nothing these kids do surprises her.

The other day they took the cushions off of the sofa so they could "surf" down the stairs. Niall only threatened to call their dad once, of course they didn't listen though.

"Just do what I do." Zayn shrugs, grinning that stupid shit eating grin at Liam. "Get her pregnant again when the first one gets too big."

Liam and Sophia laugh. Niall doesn't find anything funny.

"Excuse me?" She cocks her eyebrow, ready to call him on his shit. "The first three were all me, buddy."

Well. Ivan was both of their idea, Julius was a surprise (as in: surprise! your birth control fucking sucks) but Winnie was all Niall.

"Sure they were." Zayn winks, sipping his beer.

"You know what!" Sophia taps Liam. "We should babysit!"

Liam looks like he's trying to find a way to say no without sounding like a dick, the big pushover.

"I dunno-"

"When's the last time the two of you went out?" Liam's Hot Girlfriend looks between Zayn and Niall.  
Zayn shrugs, Niall purses her lips, genuinely thinking about it.

"We went to- no I went by myself." She can't think of anything. They haven't even been in a car together since they brought Bam home.

"Been a while, yeah." Zayn nods. "Niall doesn't trust people with the kids and it's too much expecting H and Louis to handle ten kids under twelve."

Between the four of them, there are eleven children. The one Harry and Louis foster doesn't need to be watched though.

"We should do it, Li!" Sophia pouts.

Niall just knows he's going to cave. Niall would do anything that woman asks, if she were making that face at her.

She feels bad though. Liam just spent the day with her kids, he shouldn't have to spend the night too.

"I don't even want to go out." Niall saves him. "I'm a mess, and it's too short notice-"

" I want to take you out." Zayn say smoothly, sipping his tea.

Niall sighs at him. She completely trusts Liam and and his gorgeous girlfriend with anything including her children but they are a lot to handle. Sophia doesn't ease up though. Between Niall and Liam... They're clearly whipped by their ridiculously good looking spouses.

"Perfect!" Sophia chirps, passing Blaise over to less than thrilled boyfriend. "Come on, let me get you prettied up."

Obviously Niall doesn't put up too much of a fight.

*

"Don't get that." Niall shakes her head, leaning over to find something on Zayn's menu even though she has the very same one in her own hands. "It always gives you heartburn, and gas."

What she plans to order will probably give her gas too but Zayn's is awful. Niall's is funny.

"Then let's be young and dumb and take advantage of our once in a lifetime babysitter. Let's get wine and desert and go act like drunk tourists-"

"Wine gives you headaches." She reminds her husband. And she hates wine anyways. She imagines she'd prefer a pint but truth is she hasn't had any alcohol in years.

"Niaaaaaaall," Zayn whines.

"Get what you want. I'm eating and going home, you're free to do whatever." This whole getting dressed up and going out thing was nice in theory. She doesn't want to sit here and play pretend like everything is alright. She's mad, and that's not being taken seriously.

"What have I done now, then?"

Niall glances at him then back to her menu. He's serious?

"I'm trying- I'm trying to show you that I-"

"We're not doing this here." People could hear or if they start screaming and cause a scene... that will look real nice for them in the media. There are already enough articles on fake interviews that they've never done.

One went on and on about how Niall was trying to get her body back after letting herself go for so long so Zayn will find her attractive again. That helped her confidence so much.

He doesn't talk again until after their food comes.

"You look beautiful tonight. Every night really, but." He shrugs, moving the food on his plate around with his fork.

He looks... ridiculously good too. His hair is pulled back in a ponytail because he's a fucking ass hole and knows how much Niall loves him with long hair. The unbuttoned shirt with sleeves rolled to his elbows and braces don't hurt either.

"Thanks." She reaches her legs out to tangle their ankles when his phone starts vibrating on the table, instantly she tucks them back under her own chair.

He rejects the call and flips his phone face down. Niall feels sick. She pushes her plate away from her, leaning back in her chair.

"You almost ready to go? I have a headache."

Zayn look at her, then at their full plates of hardly touched food. "I guess?"

They leave their food and more than enough money on the table to pay for it. On the way home, Zayn drives with his phone on his lap. It's always that damn phone.

Niall puts her hand on his thigh, casually rubbing it the way she always did when they used to drive together. He grins at her, until she grabs his stupid phone.

"So what's the code?" Niall asks, not even looking at it.

"I already told you, thirty seven thirty seven." Zayn mutters.

Niall remembers, because she goes through it as often as she can, which is rare because he hardly ever leaves it unoccupied. When he does, everything is cleared out. It makes her sick.

"Was it Cassie who called earlier?" She asks, nonchalant.

Zayn sighs, changing his grip to the bottom of the wheel so he can slouch back in his chair. He really is a careless driver.

"Yeah."

The blonde nods. "What's she like in bed?"

He looks at her like a deer in headlights. She feels so fucking sick. What a waste of time, waste of a life spent with him. What makes her really sick is that this is the father she provided for her children. They aren't the mistake, he is.

"How would I know, Niall?"

"Why else would she call you in the middle of the night? You should at least change her name in your phone, if you're going to play this whole double life charade."

Between fans and paps he goes almost no where unseen. Niall knows. Everybody knows.

"Why are you the only friend I'm allowed to have?" He bites back.

"I'm not your friend." _I'm your wife_. She doesn't say the last part though. It's only a matter of time before that's no longer true anyway.

"But she is, and that's all she is."

Niall unlocks his phone and scrolls through his contacts. Thousands upon thousands of phone numbers, ridiculous. Niall doesn't save anybody's number. She has maybe fifty contacts in her phone, not including Zayn's since she deleted his.

She knows it by heart anyway, it's just the point okay.

"I'm going to call her." Niall chirps, jerking the phone away when he tries to grab for it. "What, you don't want me to talk to your girlfriend?"

"Niall," the car swivels, other cars around them honk and beep but neither of them care. "It's not like that, stop it."

"Does she know you're married? Of course she does." Niall laughs. Everybody knows Zayn is married with a billion kids. "She probably gets off from it, huh? Is that what-"

"God damn it Niall!" He speeds to a side street and slams the brakes, jolting them forward. Ripping off his seatbelt he snatches the phone from her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She screams.

"I could ask the same to you!"

"What's wrong with _me_?" The blonde laughs, clicking off her safety belt.

Zayn doesn't say anything, just stares at her like she's the most offending thing in the world.

"You're cheating on me." Niall closes her eyes, willing herself not to cry because she promised herself she wouldn't do that anymore. "You know I'll keep taking you back because I'll never find anybody else and you're cheating-"

He puts his phone in her hand. She doesn't want it though, so she tosses it to the floor by her feet.

"Call her." Zayn tells her. "We can go to her house right now, Niall."

She wants to puke. She wants to sleep. She wants to be so far away from him that she never has to smell him again or hear the way he hums to himself when he's thinking.

"Take me home."

"Ni-"

"I want to go home. And I think, I think you should stay somewhere else tonight."

"I fucked up. At the hotel, I fucked up by lying but I would never cheat on you. I love- you're all I think about Niall, I thought you knew that."

She doesn't reply. She's sick of being lied to. She can feel Zayn staring at her as she types to Sophia that they will be home soon, but he slaps the phone down before she can hit send.

"What are you-"

"I'll do anything, just please don't- don't," he shakes his head, desperate. "Please don't shut me out anymore. What can I do? To gain your trust back, I'll do anything baby,"

Niall stares at him for a moment. His eyes, how they're so sad and wet, his lips, the way they're trembling. Slowly, she picks up his phone and hands it to him. He shakes his head, he won't take it. That's already a step in the right direction. But lately, for every right steps he takes about ten wrong ones.

"Call her." Niall says, Zayn's body sags from rejection. "And tell her you don't want to be her friend anymore, if that's all you really are."

He swallows audibly, hesitantly reaching for the phone. Niall pulls it back before he can touch it.

"Why is it so hard for you to cut her off? Do you love her?"

When Zayn starts crying, slamming his forehead on the steering wheel, that's all the answer Niall needs. She gets out and waits on the side of the road for a driver to pick her up.

***

"Do you love my dad?"

Winnie asks a million silly questions a day, she's asked this before all the... fighting. This time, the question just affects Niall a little differently.

"Who doesn't love your dad?" Niall answers without actually answering.

Niall, Winnie, and Kali are making gingerbread houses (Kali doing more eating than building) while Bam naps. Ivan and Julius are with Uncle Louis and their dad at some laser tag thing. Boy bonding time, and what not.

"Well, you don't give him no kisses anymore." Winnie shrugs, scrunching her face the way she did every time they did kiss in front of her. "Or hugs."

If Winnie notices something is off with her parents, the boys definitely notice too.

"Sure I do." Niall keeps her voice upbeat, despite feeling like shit. "Do you need more frosting?"

The four year old sighs, gently setting down her tube of purple icing.

"Is there another baby in there?" Winnie sounds like a stressed parent, rather than a carefree four year old.

"No? What makes you think that?" Her mother laughs.

"Last time the baby was in there you were mad at my dad." She shrugs.

"Listen," Niall tilts her daughter's chin up, looking her in her big brown eyes. "Just because you're mad at someone, doesn't mean you don't love them, okay? And, I'm not mad at your dad. I love him, I promise."

The little girl sighs again, looking down at her lap. "I need a hot cocoa."

Chocolate, a children's equivalent to alcohol. Niall understands.

*

When the boys get home, Ivan and Julius bolt through the house to their rooms with wet shoes, coats and scarves falling along the way. Zayn's still at the door, taking the time to hang his stuff up. Niall and Winnie walk over to him, Kali on Niall's hip.

"Winnie, could you please hold Kalianne?" Niall asks, formal. Kali is almost as big as Winnie, and she's walking now though she prefers to crawl. Zayn eyes them suspiciously.

"Yes Mummy I will." She grins, little front teeth missing. Kali is just standing in front of her sister with Winnie's arms wrapped around her middle. She tried, at least.

Niall waits for Zayn to take his scarf off before lunges, arms around his neck and connecting their mouths in a loud, wet kiss.

"I missed you so much!" She says, rehearsed. It sounds so fake but it has Winnie giggling regardless, which was the main goal here.

Zayn glances between his wife and daughter, hesitantly putting his hands on Niall's waist.

"I missed you too, babe."

"Gross!" Ivan yells on his way to the kitchen, Julius following.

"Yeah, gross!" The younger boys little voice echoing.

"It's not gross it's love stupid idiot!" Winnie yells back at them.

"We'll talk later." Niall says, quietly enough for just Zayn to hear. He nods and kisses her again while he's allowed.

*

"Bull shit." Zayn laughs, laying on his side as he holds up Bam's bottle.

"I'm serious Zayn. If she noticed Ivan had to of noticed, of course they did you had your own house for like two months!"

"No, not that." He shakes his head. "I meant it's bull shit she's the only reason you kissed me earlier. We're still married Niall, you don't have to use your daughter as an excuse to get some of this."

Niall gawks at him. "I don't want something that's for everybody!"

Zayn's cocky smirk drops instantly. "I'm not for everybody. I'm for you, we've been through this."

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head. "No, yeah. I just, it's been my mindset for so long, and-"

"You need more time, I get it."

After their disaster date night Zayn came home and they had a really long talk. He called Cassie and told them they couldn't be friends anymore, and that from now on Liam would be helping her with her album. The girl seemed bummed but claimed she understood how it could look to Niall.

He explained everything after that. The hotel incident, where he just wanted a break and the girls he was with were fans. Niall would wring his neck if he were ever rude to his fans, so he was in the clear with that. They agreed they need to work on communication. Whenever Zayn needs a break to get his head together he's going to tell Niall, instead of feeling bad and lying so he doesn't come off as a jerk. And she's going to try to respect when he needs a break, not to crowd him and guilt him into staying with her.

"Sorry,"

Zayn nods, smiling with sad eyes. "I get it."

Niall wants everything to go back to the way it was before. It's going to take time though, on her end at least. Her thought process for almost a year has been surviving without Zayn. It's harder than it seems.

"I love you."

On a whim, with her heart racing she leans over to kiss him. He kisses her back as much as he can with Blaise between them. His tongue pokes out, testing the waters. They're okay, apparently, because her tongue sucks his into her mouth.

"Blaise," he mumbles against her lips. The baby grunts, making Niall pull away.

"Do you want to?" He asks, a little breathless.

She does. Of course she wants to. They haven't fucked since she was pregnant, and Blaise is almost four months old now.

The second she nods Zayn scoops up the baby, burping him on the way to his nursery.

Niall takes that time to run to the bathroom and freshen up. Quickly shaving everything, putting on a little makeup. A squirt of perfume. Deodorant. She even changes out her granny panties for something a little sexier, a lacy thong.

She's nervous, to say the least.

Niall's looking at herself in the mirror, trying to decide of the panties and t-shirt thing is working for her or not since she's gained a little weight. Apparently it is, way Zayn's breath hitches is any indication. He leans against the closed door, staring at her.

She's self conscious about her body. So many pregnancies have worn down her metabolism, making her thighs and belly a lot thicker than they've ever been on their own. She hasn't decided if she likes her body like this, or if she should try to get it back to the way it was before.

"You're so sexy," Zayn's eyes scan from her face to her feet.

"We have to-" Niall clears her throat, taking a moment to regain her composure. This is Zayn. Zayn, her husband. It's okay. "We have to wear a condom."

Zayn's face involuntarily scrunches into a look of disgust. They haven't used them in years. Since before Ivan was born, at least.

"My tubes," she explains. "They didn't, I forgot. No more babies."

"I'll pull out."

Niall rolls her eyes, going over to the bedside table to check if they have any rubbers that aren't expired. They should have done that first, whoops.

"That's how little Blaise Abraham Malik came about." She reminds him, absent minded.

He startles her when he comes behind her, pressing the front of his boxers against her mostly exposed bottom.

"Did that on purpose, didn't I." His thumbs trace over the material on her hips, snapping it gently against her skin.

He probably did knock her up on purpose, fucking ass hole. She told him they had to be careful after switching her birth control, since the one after Winnie was ready to be replaced. They have enough kids, Niall nor Niall's body can handle anymore.

"I'll have to get condoms tomorrow," she sighs, closing the drawer all disappointed.

"Wanna fuck you now though," Zayn runs his hands up and down her back, just feeling her. He hasn't been allowed to in a while.

"Then go get some."

"After you come on my cock." He promises, palming her crotch over her panties from behind, his other hand sneaking its way up her shirt to her breasts.

Niall moans, pushing back against him. "We can't risk it,"

She didn't think to ask about any birth control, obviously since she completely forgot out telling them to tie her tubes. She's over being pregnant, her body barely has time to heal because she keeps getting re-pregnant.

"I'll be careful," he persuades. "I just miss you. I need you,"

Niall turns around to kiss him, humming into his mouth as she lays her palms flat on his abs. With their lips still attached, tongues still massages each other, she leads him backwards towards the chair and pushes him to sit.

"What are you doing?" He asks after she sinks to her knees and shimmys his pants down.

"You're going to come in my mouth,"

Zayn whimpers, shaking his head.

"Then I'm going to sit on your face." Niall licks a bold stripe up the length of his already hard cock.

"Baby-"

"Then," she rubs him all over her lips and face, teasing little licks to the slit. "I'm going to sit right here." She strokes him a few times fast. "Until I come again."

"Oh god," Zayn groans.

His stamina is always shit and they've learned a good way to deal with that is if he comes first and has a few minutes to collect himself. Sometimes it just doesn't work though, sometimes he can't get it up again. It sucks. They make it work though.

It works tonight, fortunately. Niall comes four times, twice from his tongue before he was ready to go again and twice from his prick.

"If I'm pregnant," Niall slurs, tired and sex drunk. "I'm gonna punch you in the dick."

Zayn laughs quietly. "No you're not."

*

He's right. A few weeks later when the stupid little stick she's all too familiar with shows that damn pink plus sign, she absolutely doesn't punch him in the dick. That's the new norm for her, anyway, being pregnant. The smirk on his face when she tells him tells her he probably did this on purpose anyways.


End file.
